You know, the one that was up here that I DELETED!
I put it up and took it down within like an hour or two, so probably no one saw it.
And probably, if anyone DID see it , they wouldn't have even thought about it!
Because there was no big deal about it. Just some of the usual confessions and then a giant fake disclaimer.
I'm only remarking on it because I almost never delete shit. So why now?
Only twice I can remember deleting shit. Once, because I exposed and exploited the identity of a very minor Bay Area former celebrity who was a chum at Betty Ford and then died tragically, and probably it was related to the drinking.(whatever, I've mentioned Doug since.) And another becuase I re-printed a letter I wrote to a former colleague about my druginess that I decided was just too plain pathetic to post.
So why delete now?
Maybe it's because, every NOW and then, I think, "You are an absolute idiot to write this shit in a sort of public space. An absolute IDIOT!" And then I think, after I think that, "Man, you got to keep it real"
I don't know. I suspect that the first thought is the saner one, and that the second one is simply the rationalization for my need to over-share.
I put it up and took it down within like an hour or two, so probably no one saw it.
And probably, if anyone DID see it , they wouldn't have even thought about it!
Because there was no big deal about it. Just some of the usual confessions and then a giant fake disclaimer.
I'm only remarking on it because I almost never delete shit. So why now?
Only twice I can remember deleting shit. Once, because I exposed and exploited the identity of a very minor Bay Area former celebrity who was a chum at Betty Ford and then died tragically, and probably it was related to the drinking.(whatever, I've mentioned Doug since.) And another becuase I re-printed a letter I wrote to a former colleague about my druginess that I decided was just too plain pathetic to post.
So why delete now?
Maybe it's because, every NOW and then, I think, "You are an absolute idiot to write this shit in a sort of public space. An absolute IDIOT!" And then I think, after I think that, "Man, you got to keep it real"
I don't know. I suspect that the first thought is the saner one, and that the second one is simply the rationalization for my need to over-share.
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Philadelphia
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Re: Where'd that thread go?
Wed, April 18, 2007 - 9:15 PMso what was it? you can just rewrite it and delete this one ;) -
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Re: Where'd that thread go?
Wed, April 18, 2007 - 10:00 PMIt was stupid, but it had some snappy dialogue, which I made up in my Creative Writing class.
"That's fine. Just keep that ten. I'll use it the next time."
"There's gonna be a next time?"
"Uh, yeah, uh, if that's okay.
"Uh, I guess."
"So you just got out of rehab and you're in the business but not doing it, that's the smart thing to do."
"Yeah, I was just doing it all the time."
"So, I'm letting you off at Race or right here? I shoud know the city, but I don't, you can tell."
"Right here is fine. We should get together some time."
"Definitely!"
"But I can't drink."
"Neither can I!"
(awkward laughter.)
Exeunt.
Whatever. It was something like that. -
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Re: Where'd that thread go?
Thu, April 26, 2007 - 5:34 PMAnd then maybe you think, "What, that fucker grew a conscience overnight? Or what, he's back in rehab? Or what, he's not, but he's going to be selective? And he wisely selected you out? Or what, he's in jail now?"
And then you find out that it's all good, and everything is cool. And then you know that you are fucked. And you would never in a million years say that he shouldn't do what he is doing. Because he should. He should. And the fact that you're fucked is all about you. And if HE respected that fact, then he wouldn't do business with you. And then you would be REALLY fucked. So, just take one minute from your day, and thank the drug dealers for the way-too-often thankless work that they do. It keeps people like me from the streets. And that's a beautiful thing.
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Re: Where'd that thread go?
Thu, April 26, 2007 - 5:48 PMAnd then maybe you think, whatever that rehab he went to...it was NO Betty Ford!
I don't like Republicans. And I don't think that Betty has it all figured out. If she did, I wouldn't be here, right now. But the bitch kept me sober for 18 months, and that's more than I can say for whatever got Harry what he got now. The names would be changed for the innocent, if there were any, and if I were lucid enough to change the names. But I ain't, and it's a crapshoot.
Who will win tonight? My will? Or my conscience? And which is which? -
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Re: Where'd that thread go?
Thu, April 26, 2007 - 5:58 PMAnd then, what about YOU, victim?
You are a collaborter, and you don't care. So much that you won't even bother to spell-check.
Guilty. More guilty.
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Re: Where'd that thread go?
Thu, April 19, 2007 - 1:35 PMI found the argument for meth and productivity rather lucid. Well,... lucid for someone on meth.
BTW Skelaxin is a rather lame daytime muscle relaxant that doesn't work very well and you can still drive and operate heavy machinery. So, just say no. :) -
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Re: Where'd that thread go?
Fri, April 20, 2007 - 8:15 PMThanks for the good info, Hypno, only wish it had come to me in a more timely manner. You really need to stay on top of things if you want to be relevant, you know.
Whatever, it's not like I couldn't Google the shit. I did, but I couldn't find what I was looking for, I guess.
Anyway, here's a promising news item that just came down the line!
Ya know why no one has seen me at meetings around here for the last three months?
Because I have a boyfriend! In West Chester, and so I've been going to meetings THERE, with HIM!
I was not at all aware of this!
But it is one completely false piece of gossip that I think is really neat! (although, to be honest, I think that most ANY piece of gossip is neat.)
Where on Earth did it come from??
Apparently, from Terry!
That's what Michelle told Jeannie, who told me. Terry! Why in the WORLD would he concoct such a fiction? He certainly has no reason to cover for me, no reason to try to make me look good or that type of thing. I don't talk to him, I actively! hide from him, and from what I've gathered before, he harbors a bit of bitterness about our lack of any genuine past. So WHY say this?
Most likely explanation is that Terry is only doing what he typically does- make shit up.
No protest from my camp. You GO, guy!
What's his name? Does he have any money? Cuz I'm in a tight spot right now, so that would be a nice touch. -
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Re: Where'd that thread go?
Fri, April 27, 2007 - 10:28 AMmaybe you should start dropping bits of bread along the trail
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