SuZEN's new place

LIBRARY!!!

(Do you really have to campaign for that?)

>Library Board
Recreation Board
Shade Tree Commission<

I'd think you'd make a natural Recreation Board member, and I'm left wondering what on earth a Shade Tree Commission does, exactly.

This is why we have you planted undercover, for the scoop!

"Leonard Nimoy... has also performed fine art photography,"

<snicker>

How does one do that? Is that like dancing about architecture?

I'm at the public library right now. On the computer. Technical lapses at home.

I'm getting a feel for the place, so that I'll be ready to campaign for Library Board. You don't think I have to run for that, Glenn? Jeez, guess I've been out of politics for a long time.

Karen, my addictionologist extraordinaire, informed me that I was getting very very close to the point at which intervention would no longer help, the point where I WOULD take a drink, regardless of whatever. I was sitting in the session nodding my head and thinking to myself, "Honey, I'm already there."

She prescribed the old "90 in 90" medication. That's when you hit 90 meetings in 90 days. I agreed. I didn't really see that happening. I was seeing other things happening. I was seeing them happening last night. But then I decided to check out a meeting down the street from me at the Christ Church. It was a good meeting. And I wasn't about to drink afterwards.

So I'm a little bit relieved. I think the worst of it is over.

I'm also a little bit disappointed. In the past week I have been dismantling the many obstacles in the way of my drinking- parental supervision, sponsor communication, communication in general, AA meetings, rational thinking, healthy fear, etc- and as I was nearing the boiling point, I had this seething sense of excitement. I was gonna drink, and no one was gonna stop me! Especially me! Liberation! Yee-haw! It was exciting.

I had even worked out this neat way of thinking about drinking. It seemed very obvious at the time, although now I'm having trouble remembering it exactly. It went something like, "The word 'relapse' is a loaded one. (ignore the pun) It's a knee-jerk reaction. It's typically hysterical. It assumes that my picking up a drink is a bad thing. Why must a thought-out, possibly sensible decision to take up drinking again be AUTOMATICALLY slapped with a negative label? It's prejudicial. Narrow-minded. A gross generalization that ignores my individual circumstances. It's intended to make me feel bad about drinking even if no consequences should come. It's presumptive."

Ya know, now that I see this again, I'm thinking it sounds pretty good.

I'm thinking about giving it some more thought, but I remember that Karen told me yesterday that we addicts should not visit our heads without adult supervision. Notice that I didn't say "alcoholics?" That's cuz I'm really not sure that I am one.

>> I bet she's out teaching some kids again!

Teaching 'em how to drink!

Yes. Happy New Year!! :)

>>Where the fuck is she, now?<
>Let's not jump to conclusions.

I was totally kidding about those conclusions, but I shore do miss her. Where ya be, Suzen? Celebrating new years?